The farthest back I can remember is yesterday, so I’ll talk about that.
Ok, so it started when I woke up at around 11:30 at Katy and Emma’s house. We watched a documentary about the health problems Hitler had on the history channel. I found the book The Rules in their mom’s room. So I started reading it. My favorite rule was entitled “don’t tell your therapist about The Rules”. If one actually has to do the stuff they said in there to get a husband, I’m just going to be a cat lady.
After that, we went to McDonald’s and bugged Jen at work. I snapped my fingers at her and everything, and she HAD to be nice to me! She even called me ma’am. We also ran into an old chum from elementary school. I didn’t recognize, but Katy and Emma did. I was at a lost for what to say...so I just talked about how hot it was.
I came home and had a powerful lust to play video games, so I went to my dad’s house. Personally, I’m a Super Mario Brother’s fan, but since my little brother and sister chewed on the Nintendo cords, I had to play Mediaeval on Sony. My little sister cried when I left, so I had to sneak out. I must have smoked about a thousand cigarettes on the way home.
I finally got home, about an hour after I left my dad’s (which is really only a five minute drive on a day with heavy traffic). I was light headed from all the cigarettes, so I just went up stairs and poured about a gallon of cheap perfume on. I hadn’t brushed my teeth all day, and didn’t feel much like starting, so I popped a stick of gum into my mouth and felt content.
I watched Southpark for about 3 hours, and then switched over to Hedwig and the Angry Inch on the independent film channel (my new favorite channel). I decided then that transvestites/transsexuals were super cool. I went up stairs and started to pencil in my eyebrows to give myself more of a manly look. Then I decided to add a little douche goatee (in a style known as the "office party" ) . I put on some man clothes and danced around my room. In retrospect, the goatee was a bit much. I’m not a pretty man.
Woo hoo! It sounds like I'm getting a baby sitting job.
Lets go have ourselves a fracas.